Making Moves

-link-

SNOW!!!! Oh snow, how I've missed you. Let me count the ways:

1) The smell of the air before you arrive. You subtly announce yourself with that crisp, cold aroma that beer companys would kill to capture, but you've got in spades.

2) You're unbiased blanket of pure white powder forces a change of perspective. Covered in snow, the normally chaotic streets are muted beneath you and the silence that results is like a dream.

3) You never knew your neighbors before. You've never even introduced yourself. Snow doesn't care. He breaks down the formalities and brings people together to shovel the walks, dig out the cars, and laugh at those silly bastards who try to ignore the snow. The ones who take out their Audi TTs and Porsche Boxters because they're such 'important people' and 'don't have to worry about stupid things like snow' and end up sliding into a 6 foot moutain. Then they get out in there trenchcoats and leather gloves and start yelling at the car like it did something wrong. When that doesn't work he starts yelling at the stupid snow and the stupid plow that didn't clear the stupid road well enough or add enough stupid salt. Meanwhile the guy in the 13 year old Astro Van is cruising along without a problem and looks over and smiles because for once, his shitty old van is better than a $50,000 car and even though the heat takes 20 minutes to kick in and smells like old milk, atleast he's not sitting outside in the cold about to get sprayed with dirty road snow.

4) Putting on your big, akward snowboots and swishy snow pants. Pulling on your slightly oversized snow gloves and your only warm hat. Taking all the preperations to be over prepared and extra warm. Doing all this and then taking that first step out into the snow feeling like you're 10 all over again. You're the explorer, the adventurer, you're Indiana Jones and the Lost Shovel and it's your job to save everyone still trapped inside... you're invincible! Then you take that next step and get a boot full of snow and remember why you hate snow and wanted to move to florida but "Dana didn't want to.." "Dana's got family and friends here and couldn't possibly leave them..." Then you wonder why Dana isn't the one out here trying to pry the frozen shovel off the grass instead of sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching Friends... And you think, "There had better be some hot chocolate and a blowjob waiting for me when I get back inside or I'm going to toss that bitch out in her pajamas."

You know what would be great? Having 15 feet of snow like Japan did and having to tunnel your way around the city. That would be great.

- Spruce "Avalanche" Moose


Man, I wish i had a plow.
Homer, you did have a plow. In fact, you're wearing the jacket right now!
You're losing it Flanders, I think I would remember if I had a plow...